The Dress Proclamation of August 2008

Whereas We have taken into our Royal Consideration the matter of getting dressed each morning, We do hereby authorize, enjoin and require of our loving subjects making any purchases of clothing on behalf of the Princess or aiding in the dressing of the Princess to henceforth avail themselves only of Dresses. These Dresses shall be Twirly in nature, preferably in the Pink colour family. All Dresses presented to the Princess should be to her complete delight. We do hereby strictly forbid, on pain of our displeasure, all our loving subjects from making any purchases or offerings of clothing other than Dresses.

This Royal Proclamation is issued at the Court of Princess Lucy Elena, at Austin in the State of Texas, this 26th Day of August 2008, in the Fourth Year of our Reign
GOD SAVE THE PRINCESS

Good Dog

Lucy really wants some new pets. Ones that are younger and smaller and smell better. Like a kitty or bunny or some little yippy dog. She sees our dogs as hand-me-downs. What she doesn't see: Clifford, who is lying next to her bed as she sleeps. Clifford, who'd jump into the car as I was buckling her into her car seat, just to be next to her, and look at me in his nervous way, as if to say, "Hey, don't hurt our baby, okay? Do you love me now? Just checking." Guinea pigs and Yorkies don't do that.

My Two Favorite People

How can anything be that bad with these two clowns around?

Why People Invented the Stork, the Cabbage Patch and Other Reproductive Myths

This morning as I am strapping her into her car seat, she asks, "Mom, what did you and Dad do before I was in your tummy?"

I freeze. Is she asking what I think she's asking? Surely not. "What do you mean?"

"Right before I was in your tummy, what did you and Dad do?"

Um, right before? Holy smokes: she's asking where babies coming from. I give her a quizzical look, stalling.

She takes a new tack: "Did you know I was in there before I came out? Were you missing me?"

That was a close one. "I did know you were in there. And yes, I did miss you. I was so happy when you came out."

Confidence Floats

Lucy has been taking swimming lessons, and today she swam the short length of the pool BY HERSELF. Maybe. Jason wonders that the swim instructor may have had a single finger under Lucy...which means it doesn't count? I'd argue she did swim by herself. How much can a finger be doing except giving her the confidence to do what she knows how to do?

All of our accomplishments require the buoy of confidence. Sometimes, my entire job is holding a finger under a bunch of bright creative people who don't quite realize they know how to...swim.

Watching the Olympics echoes this sentiment for me. Sure, there's the years of training and sacrifice, but confidence: that's the extra something.

Whew

Thank goodness Jason is home. It's been four long days of single parenthood (and I've even had some help from Baga and Nini). Gives me new appreciation for what a bad-ass of a dad Jason is, as well as appreciation for my own single-parent mom.

Last night, I was battling with Lucy about bedtime and I said, "I miss Dad." She said, "I miss Dad, too." In my exhausted, insecure state, I asked the inappropriate question "Do you like Dad better than Mom?" She was a diplomat: "No, I like you both the same. But I do miss Dad."

Is That a Fairy in Your Pants or Are You Happy to See Me?

As I picked Lu up from school today, Ms. Garrett said that Ms. Shepherd said that on the way to the Extended Day room, Lu was holding her stomach, saying it hurt. When I asked Lu if her stomach was okay, did she want to go to swimming lessons? "Yes!" Stomachache gone.

She was changing into her swimsuit, and WHAT should appear, as if by magic: a tiny plastic fairy, tucked into the waistband of her panties. A tiny plastic fairy that she was trying to SMUGGLE OUT OF SCHOOL. Was it the fairy pressed against her waist or the GUILT that was making her stomach hurt?

We had a little meeting about stealing.

The Decline of Duck?

Last night, as Nini and I were putting Lucy to bed, Lucy declared that Duck would be sleeping next to her bed and she'd be sleeping with some random doll instead. Nini and I are both like "Who the hell is that doll? How can you do this to Duck?" It was the very last of her babyhood, cast aside in a ratty heap beside her bed.

At 10:15, when she was STILL AWAKE, we realized that she had decided not to sleep with Duck so she wouldn't suck her thumb, so she wouldn't suck off the hot pink nail polish Baga had applied earlier in the day. After much reassurance, she went to sleep with Duck in hand and thumb in mouth.

This morning, she said she didn't want to take Duck to school, but I put him in her backpack anyway. The day will come, but it's not today.